LASER SESSION FOUR & FIVE

The night before my appointment, I had a nightmare where I arrived on time, yet I had to wait five hours. Even after all that waiting, I didn't get lasered! Perhaps I'm misremembering things, but I believe Emma Roberts was a masseuse (in a beauty parlor?), and she let an attractive man cut me in line. When Emma Roberts lets someone cut you in line, causing you to wait well over your appointment time, you'll get angry and become a Karen. The manager got the most scathing call right after. Apologies to Emma Roberts for catching a stray and being villainized.  

A lot of bad energy going into a perfectly underwhelming session.

I commend the location for short wait times.

Same tech as usual, not very chatty, but always remarks on how the laser is progressing. She said I should be done in one to two more sessions. Although I don't feel as much heat, the intensity of the laser has increased. Armpits looking right and ready for warm weather! 

One thing about this session that stands out is the smell. The solution used to prep my skin and the air smelled like a perming solution after I was done. I wear a mask during my sessions, so the smell must have been worse than usual for me to notice. Maybe it was always present, but I was too busy dissociating and not breathing to notice.

The treatment has different levels of effect on my armpit hair. Some still appear coarse, while others have gotten significantly finer. Less darkness around the pits with noticeable goosebumps. The armpit poles are behind because there are dense patches of growth compared to other/effectively treated areas. It looks like a desert separating two metropolises.  

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After my fourth session, the beauty parlor relocated and did a whole rebrand: a new name, logo, and even a WeChat group. They cross-honored any memberships and packages purchased at the old location. 

My expectation going into the new location is privacy. Please have individual rooms instead of curtains, especially if patrons are getting lasered! This is mainly out of selfishness and slight concern for others' safety. Also, going to the spa/getting beauty treatments should be a relaxing experience. Having a random person in the room or constantly circling over you will stress you out. I've been the patron walking into other people's facials! It was awkward for me, so I can't imagine what it's like for the person getting a facial. Being the first client of the day helps bypass the room-sharing issue. 

Recently, I saw an exposé on Instagram about massage/sex parlors in NY. The layout looks too familiar: the gray, thick curtain partition in rows. 

When I saw the new location, I thought "Now this is what a legit business looks like." No more shady curtains in a cramped shared floor space. You do not see random workers huddle together in a corner, sitting on one of the beds. They have the floor to themselves, and you simply step out of the elevator into the salon.

It has your typical salon look now. The front desk and wall with their beauty products are white with light wood shelving. On the desk, there were prices on wooden stands. They offer scalp cleaning now!

Much to my delight, I had a room all to myself, one that was all the way in the back. However, the corridor to the room was cramped with all their machines against the wall. It gave skinny people only vibes. 

The room is small. There's a built-in supply closet and a window on the left. The shades were 70% pulled down. I could see the building across from me. If a weirdo decided to get a pair of binoculars, they would've seen my foolish ass with a robe draped over me while I lay on the table. (They offered a robe, of course, I used it. I didn't use it as intended, but it kept me warm while I was waiting topless on the table.) On the right, there's a cart with supplies and the lasering machine. They have dimming lights now, fancy.

Sadly, the business proprietor lasered me again. For those who didn't read the post where she makes her appearance, she accosted me when I walked in once. She's still the same. Who are you? What are you here for? Did you pay? Are you sure? Who is your usual tech? Why don't you also get a facial package?! You're just here for laser? What's your name? Does anyone know a "Vivien?"

Perhaps I'm too sensitive. 

The business proprietor didn't cleanse my skin before the session. Raw-dogging everything. She didn't have gloves and just slathered the cooling gel, which I found out later is ultrasound gel, with a popsicle stick. She almost forgot the protective eyewear.

Anyway, this session hurt like a bitch! My shoulders were cramping. The machine got so hot, but she wasn't thorough. She kept assaulting the same spots. I hope she doesn't laser me again. I want my old tech back. I'm sorry I don't remember your name. I felt bad when the boss asked me. I didn't know how good I had it until I saw the boss again. Come back!!!!

I didn't shave that well, hoping that the boss would get the hint that they've been missing certain spots. She completely ignored it! I'm literally giving you the cheat sheet. Every single time.

Here is a shoddy diagram I whipped up for clarification. It's so unfortunate this diagram is the thumbnail for this post. The highlighted portions are the areas she missed, and the area in the circle is where she spent too much time. The areas she treated DO NOT need in-depth treatment anymore because they have never overlooked it. She's almost bald. I have less hair there than the head of a patient's husband who told their son to call me Aunty. 

I am concerned more with the portion that pokes out of short sleeves when I raise my hands. I am also concerned with the lower pit area that frames my breasts because it makes my breasts look hairy. It's not cute. I brought it up with the previous tech, and they keep that in mind. 

Remember the Emma Roberts dream and my previous praises of their speediness. Yeah, that dream prophesized my fifth visit. The 20-minute wait wasn't unbearable nor unreasonable, but it was uncharacteristic of the standard they'd set. 

Whoever schedules needs to be realistic with their capabilities. Refrain from over-packing customers to recuperate money when you cannot handle it with limited staff/resources. They seem to have more rooms with the same amount of staff. Don't be too ambitious. I heard one customer talk to the boss about the wait and timing. Your staff and clients do not need you to poke into rooms asking about the next customer you scheduled and to see who's available to work. 

I schedule patients so I know what it's like.

I make the same complaints in every post. I am insane: doing the same thing and expecting something different.